On 4/30/12, I left Henderson Texas at 0930 en route to DFW International Airport. The Lagos check-in was the usual chaos, spawned by the travelers various language barriers. We boarded at 1650 and arrived in Atlanta on time at 2030. At 2215, we boarded the flight to Lagos. At this point, the trip took an inauspicious turn. First, I noticed an elderly man in a wheelchair, wearing a hospital bracelet, arguing at Duty Free pickup that his order was incorrect. Soon after I took my seat, I noticed the same gentleman coming towards the bathroom. Unfortunately, I was in the seat in front of one toilet and across from another. The elderly man tried to enter the toilet behind me but could not open the door so he urinated in the aisle. Then, he went into the toilet across from me and urinated on the floor with the door open. On exiting the toilet, his pants were down and he proceeded to dress while standing in the aisle. The woman sitting next to me was horrified! It was clear that this man had dementia and a problem with his prostate. Why was he traveling alone?

About an hour later, the Prostate Man, as I named him,  staggered back down the aisle to the toilet. He again urinated with the door open, then exited. He didn’t realize he had to close the toilet door in order to go up the aisle so he attempted to squeeze around the door-in the process, he fell on the woman sitting next to me. Unfortunately for her, he had wet his pants. She appeared ready to heave her breakfast.

Things calmed down until 8 hours into the flight, when the Captain came on the intercom and told us we were one hour from Atlanta! WTF!!! I thought it was a joke but it wasn’t. There was a communications problem with the jet and he had turned around 4 hours into the transatlantic flight. He kept it a secret, no doubt, to prevent a mid-Atlantic riot-which would have been comparable to the recent Nigerian loss-of-fuel-subsidy riots. Since we were about to land in Atlanta, I presume the Captain decided to fess up to the situation.

We finally landed. There was good news, however. First, there would be a new flight in about two hours. Second, we all received a meal voucher for $6.00 (except that they ran out). I can tell you from my experience that you can’t get much in the  DFW International Airport for $6.00. Third, ProstateMan was off the flight.

I did get a new seat assignment for the new flight-one seat removed from the toilet. It was a calm flight and we landed in Lagos at 0330 (2130 TX time) after a 11 hour flight.

Next, I passed through customs and headed to the Domestic Airport for a local flight to Uyo. Unfortunately, the local flight wasn’t for 8 hours!.  I finally arrived at NCH at 1530 (0930 TX time)-total traveling time since I left my home, a mere 48 hours.