On 4/30/12, I left Henderson Texas at 0930 en route to DFW
International Airport. The Lagos check-in was the usual chaos, spawned by
the travelers various language barriers. We boarded at 1650 and arrived in
Atlanta on time at 2030. At 2215, we boarded the flight to Lagos. At this
point, the trip took an inauspicious turn. First, I noticed an elderly man in a
wheelchair, wearing a hospital bracelet, arguing at Duty Free pickup that his
order was incorrect. Soon after I took my seat, I noticed the same gentleman
coming towards the bathroom. Unfortunately, I was in the seat in front of one
toilet and across from another. The elderly man tried to enter the toilet
behind me but could not open the door so he urinated in the aisle. Then, he
went into the toilet across from me and urinated on the floor with the door
open. On exiting the toilet, his pants were down and he proceeded to dress
while standing in the aisle. The woman sitting next to me was horrified! It was
clear that this man had dementia and a problem with his prostate. Why was he
traveling alone?
About an hour later, the Prostate Man, as I named him, staggered back down the aisle to the toilet.
He again urinated with the door open, then exited. He didn’t realize he had to
close the toilet door in order to go up the aisle so he attempted to squeeze
around the door-in the process, he fell on the woman sitting next to me.
Unfortunately for her, he had wet his pants. She appeared ready to heave her
breakfast.
Things calmed down until 8 hours into the flight, when the
Captain came on the intercom and told us we were one hour from Atlanta! WTF!!!
I thought it was a joke but it wasn’t. There was a communications problem with
the jet and he had turned around 4 hours into the transatlantic flight. He kept it a secret,
no doubt, to prevent a mid-Atlantic riot-which would have been comparable to
the recent Nigerian loss-of-fuel-subsidy riots. Since we were about to land in
Atlanta, I presume the Captain decided to fess up to the situation.
We finally landed. There was good news, however. First,
there would be a new flight in about two hours. Second, we all received a meal
voucher for $6.00 (except that they ran out). I can tell you from my experience
that you can’t get much in the DFW
International Airport for $6.00. Third, ProstateMan was off the flight.
I did get a new seat assignment for the new flight-one seat
removed from the toilet. It was a calm flight and we landed in Lagos at 0330
(2130 TX time) after a 11 hour flight.
Next, I passed through customs and headed to the Domestic
Airport for a local flight to Uyo. Unfortunately, the local flight wasn’t for 8
hours!. I finally arrived at NCH at 1530
(0930 TX time)-total traveling time since I left my home, a mere 48 hours.
